Breaking trauma bonds is not easy, but definitely possible once you identify the toxicity level in your relationship

According to certain theories, there are different stages of trauma bonding, each of which contributes to the cycle of trauma and suffering that is frequently present in abusive relationships. While leaving this vicious cycle might become more and more difficult for the victim, it is still possible to break a trauma bond, after you are aware of its stages and how they affect you and your partner.

What trauma bonding actually means?

Trauma bonding occurs when an abuser makes the victim feel dependent on them for support and validation through manipulation techniques and abusive cycles, resulting in a powerful attachment or bond. This can happen in families, friendships and professional settings in addition to narcissistic romantic relationships.

Different stages of trauma bonding

Trust and dependency

In this particular stage, an abuser may deliberately test the victim’s dependence on them and their level of trust, which usually makes the target feel bad for questioning their partner. The love bombing stage is crucial for setting up dependency because if you question the abuser at this point, you can face a lot of backlashes for underestimating everything they have done for you.

Love bombing

A sudden, urgent attempt to establish a “we” in a relationship through lavish flattery and high praise is known as “love bombing”. While this relationship usually involves an abuser and their victim, it can occasionally encompass those close to the couple. In some abusive situations, the abuser may occasionally appear unaware of how they are manipulating the victim; this is usually not the case in trauma bonding.

Criticism

Once they have earned your trust, emotional abusers may begin to point out or label some aspects of your personality as negative or undesirable. This criticism may seem abrupt, especially after going through the “love bombing” stage, but it is typical for abusers to hold off on criticising victims until after their trust has been put to the test.

Gaslighting and manipulation

Two types of psychological abuse that are frequently observed in trauma bonds include gaslighting and manipulation, which ultimately cause victims to doubt their vision of reality. Gaslighters frequently place the blame for their actions on others and never fully or honestly accept responsibility for their actions. Once they bring their target close to breaking point, gaslighters frequently appear suddenly cool, calm and collected.

If you feel like you have made several attempts to escape a toxic relationship but keep returning back to your ex despite the abuse, then it is definitely a sign of trauma bonding.